Learning and developing is much harder than some people make it seem; especially as a teenager. You have to hang on and continue even when things get socially, mentally, or physically exhausting.
There will be many things in the way on your climb to success, but that is how you gain resilience. These are some things to keep in mind when you are struggling.
How Do I Build Resilience?
Traits to Grow Into
People either rise to the occasion or crumble under hard circumstances.
Resiliency is very mental. Here are some traits you should carry in your day-to-day life:
Embrace change and focus on what YOU can control
Change is set out to have a bad connotation. Of course, change is constant and will never go away. But, not all change is bad.
Instead of thinking of it that way, embrace it and think of the possibilities it could come with. Write a list of positives that come with this new change.
Growth and change go together. Being resilient could mean going backwards but dealing with it in a better way.
Take action and don't dwell
It is extremely easy to dwell on the past. Focus on the now. Try to take action when you experience change.
At some point in the year things will end up in a never-ending pile of to-dos whether it is from
school, clubs, or sports. Communication is key when this happens. There are many resources available.
For example, emailing. Take action and reach out to your teacher, club, or coach. You never know what could happen unless you try. Remain confident in yourself and your abilities.
Gratitude
Having
gratitude is being thankful for something or towards someone. When writing this article, I remembered an analogy I saw online.
It said: You are holding a cup of coffee and someone bumps into you. You spill the coffee everywhere. Then you are asked, “Why did you spill the coffee?” If you answer, “Because someone bumped into me,” that is the wrong answer.
You spilled coffee because that was what was in your cup. If there had been tea in your cup you would have spilled tea. Whatever is inside the cup is what will come out. So, when life comes along and bumps you, which will inevitably happen, whatever is inside of you will come out.
When life gets tough what will spill out of your cup? Work to let joy and gratitude spill out. Those are two of the most important things to have as a person in today's world. There is so much to be happy about and grateful for; even the little things. Life provides the cup, but you choose how to fill it.
Reflect and set goals
Reflecting is significant for life in general. You can reflect by yourself, with a family member, a friend, a teacher, or any trusted adult. Sometimes all you need is to get it out of your system.
Set daily or weekly goals for yourself. Those things could be like eating and drinking regularly or going outside at least once a day. Even spending time by yourself can be refreshing for your mind.
This is your life. Your decisions decide how it plays out. Reflect, reset, and refocus.
Learning from Others
When I struggle, I like to look into other people’s experiences and how they persevered. I also look into quotes that fit what I am going through. Although these quotes may sound basic, they give a better understanding and outlook on the aspect of failure and change.
“Failure is a part of learning.”
Now, in the heat of the moment this may not be exactly what you think is right. Failure is failure, right? Although
failure can feel like those clingy pieces of snow that never come off of your gloves, it just proves that there is always room for improvement.
There will always be more to learn. It will help you develop into the best version of yourself. The act of not getting something right the first time draws you closer to wisdom depending on how you take it on.
“When one door closes another opens.”
Think about all of the possibilities and opportunities you are getting with this change. Push forward and you will find your way out of the darkness. Think about the
hardest lesson you've had to learn in your life. There will be something you've gotten out of it. Whether you know that a change is coming or not, stay in this mindset.
Change is one of the main things that creates resilience. I listen to one podcast consistently. It is called,
A Better You, by Fernanda Ramirez. I wanted to know what she had to say about change. The episode I listened to was, “HOW TO DEAL WITH CHANGE & LIFE TRANSITIONS | handling stress, learning detachment, ways to find acceptance.”
One of the main things she touched on was that change shapes you. It can be good or bad but ultimately you evolve from it. As I touched on earlier, the only constant in life is change and truthfully, we can count on it daily. Fernanda claims that it is stressful, but it does not define you.
Her advice is to have self-compassion. Let yourself mourn and have feelings for what is being left behind with this new change coming forth. Give yourself space. You should acknowledge your feelings and know that they can co-exist. You can feel happy one second and
stressed beyond belief the next.
When you feel lost you need to create consistency for yourself; make a to-do list or have a schedule you follow each day. Be present in each moment and if you have trouble, look to others for guidance.
If you need extra help navigating through it, look for books or podcasts. Flip your perspective every once in a while and look for a light.
Moving Forward
After reflecting on this article, it is clear that resilience is not something you can master in a day. But, as long as you keep all of these things in mind, you will eventually be able to see through things without a second thought.
Try to set yourself up for success and look for an
opportunity to grow. There are only good things on the horizon; the calm after the storm.